One way to stop yourself having an erection is to obsess about not having an erection. Easy for me to say, hey? I’m not the one with the penis, but this doesn’t have to be a permanent problem. What you are going through has happened to virtually every man at some point in their life, although I appreciate this doesn’t make it any less daunting for you right now. Still, bear this in mind. The more anxious you get, the less the blood flows to where you need it to. Let me reassure you and say that in nine out of ten cases, erectile dysfunction is treatable.

Your first move is to get checked out by your GP. But if you’ve ruled out stress, tiredness, too much booze and too many fags, what’s happening to you is far more likely to be psychological. So think about when, where and why this is happening. Is it with all women or just your current girlfriend? Are you genuinely into her? Or is it that you can’t understand why she’s into you?

It’s worth telling yourself there is no normal when it comes to sex. Sex in the real world isn’t like a porn film nor, in answer to your question about averages, does it require performance times. What’s usual for you and your penis is all you need to be working with. Finally, don’t react in perhaps the most obvious way and stop having sex. Try to stay positive. For now, concentrate more on oral and manual stimulation and try some homework. Get some you