More women should be like you. In control of their own sex lives. And contrary to what we may think, sex toys are nothing new. They’ve been around since the Romans. Thankfully, the choice today is far more sophisticated than their gigantic phallic candles.

So let’s get you started. Choosing your first vibrator can be daunting as the sex market is flooded with them. And confusingly, that includes vibrators which aren’t even marketed as vibrators: the plug-ins. Sold as body massagers (in all good department stores) they’re the most powerful but as a beginner, definitely the most overwhelming. So for you, battery operated would be your best choice. Pick from the hundreds available. In all different shapes, sizes and colours. I’d suggest looking on-line, so you can take your time browsing, without feeling self-conscious.

A lot of women starting out think that a vibrator is just inserted into the vagina. It isn’t. Simply for the reason that inside your vagina there aren’t enough nerve endings to really get you going. That’s not to say you can’t use the vibrator like a dildo and insert it right before orgasm. Get the timing right and this can be very pleasurable. But the usual technique for using a vibrator is incredibly straightforward. Rest it against the lips of the vagina, varying the speed until you orgasm.

It’s for this very reason that I strongly recommend to not use a vibrator every time you masturbate. Just like Charlotte, who in Sex and The City locked herself away for days with her first “rabbit”, you can all too easily get addicted to a vibrator’s charms. Enjoy. But pace yourself. This way, when the real thing comes along, you won’t be disappointed he hasn’t got a speed control on his penis!