What are the signs that your child may have an eating disorder?
Watch out for your child always saying things like ‘I don’t like my tummy or I don’t like my legs’. However signs of eating disorders are often a whole series of things which aren’t necessarily connected with weight. Is your child very anxious? Are they very sensitive to other people’s feelings and also really very anxious to any changes to their routine. Are they a perfectionist? For instance does their home work always have to be done absolutely perfectly with not one spelling mistake in it. If there is a smudge or a letter written incorrectly are they likely to tear the whole thing up and do it again? Or is their bedroom much tidier than you might expect a 10 or 11 year old’s bedroom to be? That perfectionism and need to feel order can be seen over food as well. Your child may say things like ‘I won’t have pudding’ or ‘I’m not having chocolate’ or they may start to restrict on foods.
Having an eating disorder may affect your child’s friendships. You may notice your child starting to withdraw, not wanting to mix with friends. Or you may have a child who has always been very sociable or involved in team or social sports and then they move to very solitary activities. For instance if your child played a lot of tennis or did something that involved other people and then they started going for runs on their own.
What should you do?
The first thing we say to any parent, if they are in the least bit concerned, they should go to the doctor and get some professional advice right away. Your GP can reassure you.
Also talk to your child - ask is there anything that’s worrying you? Often the dinner table with the plate of food in front of you is not the best place to have that conversation – even if it is the food that you’re concerned about. Try to keep that conversation going but don’t make the dinner table the place where you confront things. Make it an open conversation by asking things like ‘is there anything that you might be worried about? Can we talk about that? What can we do?”
It is the combination of perfectionism with very low self esteem that seems to be a particular risk for eating disorders, and there have been studies that show that if you can help the person have a better sense of self worth then you can reduce some of the other risks. So try and think is there anything contributing to that person’s feeling of worthlessness.